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Letting Go, Letting Grow III

I’m only broken away from you
but it feels like I’ve been broken into two.
I’m not finding it easy
to put myself together again.
I’m tired and sad and empty,
but you were the part of me
that did not need to grow.
You were so harmful to the rest of me;
you needed to go.

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Too Far Away

I loved U,
and U loved I,
but I was too far away from U,
too far to share your midnight sky.
Too many things stood between us,
and sadly, there was a N, and an O.

One plus one is two;
I wanted you
and you wanted me too.
Two minus one is one;
what we won’t be
since you are gone.

Letting Go, Letting Grow II

Everything is in place except your heart;
everything is well except you.
You’re strong,
but your soul is not.
You possess this and that now,
but you don’t have the one thing
you so badly want back,
so, you have nothing.
You’ve lost one thing,
but you feel like you’ve lost everything.

Your red blood is now light grey;
your saliva tastes like sorrow.
Your pain-filled heart is now broken,
and its contents are running through your veins,
mixing with your blood,
harming your soul,
harming your self.

The sharp ends of your heart are pinching you.
You’re too sad to cry,
too sad to groan,
too sad to sleep,
too sad to live.

You’re dying;
you’re experiencing death in life.
You’re letting go of your old self,
and you’re birthing your new self.

He’s never coming back.
She’s never coming back.

It hurts.
“Aaaaargh”, it really hurts.

I Ran to the Water

Seated-Nude-8-oil-on-paper-

“Seated Nude” by Michael Escoffery

I said something “wrong” to him,
and he destroyed the bridge that led to me.
My chances of seeing him again were slim,
so I ran to Iya*, I ran to the sea.

Iya saw me crying by the bank,
and I explained all that I could to her.
I spoke till my spirit, voice and strength sank,
and she stated that we had both gone too far.

She wiped and erased my tears and fears;
she put honey in my mouth and put me to sleep.
The sounds of frogs and fishes filled my ears,
and when I woke up, the last thing I wanted to do was weep.

*Iya: Mother

Moving On

Nude Back

“Nude Back” by Michael Escoffery

I was devastated,
but more accurately, devastation was me.
I wasn’t happy,
and almost all of the time,
unhappiness clung very tightly to me.

I didn’t even feel that I was living,
that I was,
because I couldn’t feel,
and when I did, it hurt.

One minute, I thought,
“he left me,
so I’ll leave me too.”
The next, I thought,
“he dislikes me now,
so I’ll like me.
Who the hell needs him;
who?”

I’ll dislike all the things he likes.

He likes water,
so I’ll hate water.
He likes air,
so I’ll hate air.
He likes fire,
so I’ll hate fire.
He hates life,
so I’ll hate life.

The ‘only’ that truly like me,
water,
air,
fire
and life;
are the same things keep us alive.

How do you find peace
when a piece of you is gone?
How do you put yourself together
when you’re left in the cold to burn?

“Does he miss me?
Does he miss at feast,
or has he found a different Miss?
Is there a new Beauty for my Beast?”

You have a list of things you hope
he’ll remember and cherish at least.

It hurts;
it’s like an invisible stab to the chest.
It really hurts.

Moving on
and looking back;
moving back
and shedding tears.
Moving on
and looking back;
looking blank
and shedding fears.

That is how the broken have moved on,
for years and years.

Insecure

Insecure.jpg

Michael Escoffery

I chained myself to you because
all I wanted was to be free.
I starved my self and soul to death,
so you could feed and rescue me.
I put a blindfold on and
chose to ignore the signs;
you were all I wanted to see,
even if it cost me my eyes.
I was incomplete without you,
and so, I wasn’t complete with you.
I couldn’t live without you,
and so, I couldn’t live with you.

Holy ‘Matcutony’

On this day of our Love,
on this day that La and Gbaja
have come together to slaughter “and”
without the use of their hands,
words will be spoken,
hearts will be broken,
eyes will fly open,
’cause their dead love is swollen.

Human Sacrifices and Sheet

BlckMTade’s heart is broken into three pieces. It was split into two whole halves for a long time, but it was shattered last night, and there are three pieces now.

Tonight, he’ll meet a new woman, and in a few days, he’ll make passionate love to her. She’ll think he’s madly in love with her, but he wouldn’t really be, obviously. He is, and he would be, in love with someone else who has declared herself unavailable, and for a while, the new woman would become his true love’s clone. 

Maggots and contaminated blood from an untreated, rotten wound in his heart, anger- fiery anger, and sweet-bitter desire would be the new recipe for his semen, for her new meal, and she would lick and suck and swallow in delight, without a slight clue on how or under what conditions it was prepared.

The good or not so good news, depending on what side you’re on, is that he will get better. Within 6-8 months, he’ll get over the old girl, and, unfortunately, the new girl. She would not be so new anymore. He would not be as vulnerable, and the wound would be fairly healed by that time, so he would change; he would become his true self again. 

It would be time to search for a real replacement; he’ll be totally done with the “living sacrifice”. The not-so-new-anymore girl’s heart will be split into two halves when his behaviour changes, and of course, it’ll be shattered into three pieces when he announces that she is of no true use to him; she was, but not anymore. 

My Mind= Field | My Feelings= Ball

Falling in love with fire,
an obsessive, compulsive liar,
was the most exhausting thing
that I had ever done
since the very minute
that I was born.

He would say,
‘Air, you need to come on stronger
if you want to have me.”
So, I would give him more air,
and we would start a fire right there.

Then he would say,
“woah, this is too much for me;
you’re going to blow me out.
If you don’t leave me be for as long as I need,
you will go many days without.”
So, of course, I would withdraw,
until our fire was no more.
It made my soul so sore.

Extremely hot,
extremely cold.
Extremely fickle,
nothing to mold.
Extremely mean,
no heart to hold.
I never told him off;
I was never so bold.

Love and War

Sonali-_Everything_is_fair_in_love_and_war

“Everything Is Fair In Love And War” by Debajyoti Das , Raiganj

He always had to be right so I left;
we both had to win so we lost each other. 

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