Love is a Surprise

Unplanned

Sometimes, you don’t fall in love;
you might be too cautious to.
Sometimes, love falls on you;
unexpectedly, like heavy rain.
It’s destabilizing;
it’s profound.
You can’t climb out of it,
you can’t jump down from it;
you’re free but
you’re stuck in it.
You shiver;
you cry.
There is no shelter;
you can’t make it stop.
💧
You don’t want it to.

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Unrequitedly Requited II

You only fell in love with me
because I fell in love with you;
you were happier
before we became “we”.

Possessed

Man Painting

He fell in love with her;
she possessed him.
He said things he would never say
and wrote things he would never write.
He saw things he would never see
and did things he would never do.
He shivered,
he cried,
he sang for her,
and when the trance was over,
he was really weak.
He didn’t know what just happened;
“what the hell came over me?”

Unrequitedly Requited

African-Woman-Konstantin-Yegorovich-Makovsky-Oil-Painting-1-800x1084

“African Woman” by Konstantin Yegorovich Makovsky [Oil Painting]

“I love you.”

My heart froze, but not out of fear. It was beating very quickly, and I could have sworn it was having continuous orgasms, if I had to describe the feeling. I wasn’t afraid anymore; I was nervously, intensely relieved.

He loved me.
He loved me.
He. loved. me.
Oh, God.

Then he continued, and right after he did, I wished that he hadn’t.

“I love you two, you and Leidy.”

Wait, one second! Did he say “I love you two” earlier or “I love you too”?

“You both mean so much to me and I’m lucky to have you as sisters from another mum.”

I immediately burst into laughter, and for some reason, he began to giggle too.

“You both are my babies.”

Well, he just didn’t know when to stop, did he? 

I began to laugh even louder. I laughed so much so that tears began to run down my face.
He was laughing because I was laughing; I was laughing because I thought I had just made a fool of myself, and I was deeply hurt. If he was laughing because I was laughing, he was laughing because I had made a fool of myself, because I was deeply hurt.

I so desperately wanted to sink into the ground and disappear or fly on the angel of death’s wings and never return. He loved me, that was good, but not the way I wanted to be loved.

Self Lust

Self Love.png

michael escoffery

Suddenly, there two of me.
The second me came out of me,
as if I had painlessly birthed her.
She looked more beautiful,
and she had a penis.

Then I, me, the other me,
began to make love to me.
I had never experienced anything like it,
like the intense pleasure that I felt.
I wasn’t sure if I alive or dead;
it was all very confusing.

How Does He Treat You?

“ooooOOOh, we’re breathing hard. It must be love.” 

Any man can skillfully undress you; it’s not that hard to do. You should be with a man who doesn’t only desire to hurriedly take your clothes off- a man who puts effort into helping you get dressed too.

You should be with a man who doesn’t only enjoy watching you get naked, but enjoys watching you get dressed just as much.

Typical Excuses:
“You know he’s a Capricorn. They don’t really like to be vulnerable and they don’t have time for affection and love.”
😂
I have a whole Saturn in my 1st house and that’s not true; it’s bullshit.

_________________________

“He’s a melancholic. They usually don’t text back, so it’s okay if he ignores my texts for a week.”
😆
Poppycock.

_________________________

“They are highly choleric in the family that he’s from. I made him angry so it’s okay if he punches me. To be honest, I deserve it, because he loves me. I can’t lose him now, where will I start from?”
😐
Ummm…no.

_________________________

“My grandmother’s aunty’s cousin’s husband’s sister’s nephew told me that some men menstruate. Maybe he’s menstruating at this time, he’s irritable, and he needs to vent his anger on me.”
😧
For 6 months straight? Definitely, you are not okay.

_________________________

“He is my rock and my pillar; he takes good care of me. He was not always like this and I know he will change. Maybe I am relaxing and I need to do better for him; I need to buy ‘sukura’ [an aphrodisiac] for us.”
😟
Ha! Aunty mi, they’ve finally exchanged your common sense and destiny for a bowl of pap at Obalende. Won ti fi oko gba opolo lowo yin– you’re definitely dickmatized.

_________________________

“If a man looks down on you, talks down to you, and scolds you, he loves you, he is protecting you, and he is doing what’s best for your growth. There are many girls that want to be where you are, and if he has chosen you, be grateful and do what’s right by him.”
😫
Aunty mi, ewo oro enu yin gatagata bi eyín iya olobi. Olorun, won ti n ba mi seyin se [you are under spiritual attack].