Love is a Surprise

Unplanned

Sometimes, you don’t fall in love;
you might be too cautious to.
Sometimes, love falls on you;
unexpectedly, like heavy rain.
It’s destabilizing;
it’s profound.
You can’t climb out of it,
you can’t jump down from it;
you’re free but
you’re stuck in it.
You shiver;
you cry.
There is no shelter;
you can’t make it stop.
💧
You don’t want it to.

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I’m Not a Bloody Playtime Pool

Drown

Painted by Brian Kirhagis

You wanted to be let in,
into the flow of my emotions,
into the depths of my feelings.
Why do you want to leave now?
Oh!
You have your life to live now?

I asked if you could swim
and you said “yes”,
you’d do anything to get in.

Is it too cold for you now?
Is my water too dirty for you,
too contaminated for your soul?
Do your lifeguards want you out now?

Were you looking to find fishes in me,
to feed them and keep them for your use?
Are you disappointed that there are none?
Do you wish that I was more salty?
Have you found a different water?

Why don’t you talk to me?
I don’t want you out of me;
your presence satisfies me.
I am so used to you;
I don’t know what to do.

You can’t just make me trust you
and then mess up.
Cum, tears, sweat, blood, pee;
how do I separate all of you from me?

You see, this is the kind of shit that…
*whew!*
…this is the kind of stuff
that gets motherfuckers drowned.
I’m not a bloody playtime pool.

I’m a sea.

-Yemoja 

Dead Love IV

African Woan

She was only married for 5 years,
but she lived with the man
till the day of her death.
First, he was the love of her life,
then he became her man,
then he became her husband,
then he became the father of her children,
then he became the man,
till he was simply a man,
a man that she lived with,
that she had sex with,
that she fed,
that she washed clothes for,
that she went to events with.
A man, and nothing more.

Love Business

High class

“I’ll give him one litre of love
because he only paid for one.”

“I won’t call her today because
she didn’t call me for two days.”

“He didn’t reply in five minutes
so I’ll delay my reply a little.”

They dealt in love,
and Love dealt with them.

His Venus is in Capricorn

“Making me hard won’t make my life less hard.
Thank you, but we shouldn’t do that, not now at least.
Put your clothes on; let’s go out.”

She was embarrassed but impressed.

“Okay?”

“Okay.”

Spaces and Phases: Something

“She’s nothing without me.”

You made her “nothing”.
She wasn’t “nothing” before you met her;
you only chose to not see her as something.

At that time,
she found it hard to believe
that she was something herself,
that she still is.
She was very sure sometimes,
and she wasn’t, at other times;
she was so vulnerable.

It was up to you to make her believe
that she was something,
that she had always been something,
but since you wanted to have total control,
you were so afraid that she could realize
she is something with or without you,
and she would leave you someday,
you convinced her that she is something,
but only with you.

You locked her in your arms,
then you locked her in her brain cell.
You didn’t let her become
what she already was- something-
and something more.

You didn’t make her something;
you made her some thing.

The Woman Proposed

Yesterday, you braced yourself.
With all the courage that you had,
you told them how you really felt,
and what all your affection meant.

Today, they told you that they loved you;
they’ve shown you life and it’s brand new.
They’ve come to make your dark sky blue;
there’s nothing, for them, that you wouldn’t do.

Tomorrow, you’re going to have a fight;
the things they’ll say are going to hurt you.
If you threaten to leave if they don’t change,
they’ll react in a way that you’ll find strange.
The words they’ll say will be quite true,
“I didn’t come to you first,
I didn’t want you.”

Dead Love III

They didn’t fall out of love with you.

Love itself is a paradise-like pit;
where else can anyone possibly fall into
if they fall out?

They climbed out of the love you shared
without you.

You felt their footsteps;
you just chose to ignore it,
or get used to their struggling to get out,
while convincing yourself that they were
drawing closer to you.

Perhaps, you simply watched them leave
because there was nothing you could do.
Someone was helping them get out;
a paradise-like pit had been dug,
an old, slightly-covered one,
or a new one, out of the blue,
and you never knew.

Unrequitedly Requited II

You only fell in love with me
because I fell in love with you;
you were happier
before we became “we”.

‘No Use’ is Abuse II

She used to miss him more
when they were together
than she does now.
His absence was difficult
to deal with when he was present;
it isn’t now.