Freedomination

Birdy

“The Heart of a Bird” by Colette Wirz Nauke

In your quest for freedom,
if you must fill your wings with anything,
or decorate your wings,
decorate them with feathers,
not gold.

With gold, other birds will stop by,
and admire your beauty,
and aspire to be like you,
and worship the ground beneath your feet.

The day of the storm will come,
the day of the storm is coming,
and on that day,
with extra feathers,
you will fly very quickly to safety.

The day of the storm will come,
the day of the storm is coming,
and on that day,
with golden, swollen wings,
your worshippers will leave you,
the rain will catch up with you,
and beat you till you can barely breathe.

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Birds That Don’t Fly

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Why do certain birds have wings
and do not fly,
and when they do,
they don’t do so very high?

I don’t know.

Why do some animals have mouths
and do not speak,
and when they “do”,
all you get is a tiny, little squeak?

I don’t know.

Why does a woman have a womb
if she does not birth,
if she doesn’t attempt to,
if it’s not attached to her sense of worth?

I don’t know.

All I know, is that some birds do not fly,
because they don’t have to;
they don’t find food in the sky.
Many animals do not talk;
nothing has to be said,
to learn from a hawk. 

And lastly, now firstly, the woman.

Some women do not birth
because it’s not why they are on earth.
It doesn’t come up in their thoughts of romance;
wombman isn’t just child-maker, by any chance.


So, there are several children in the world who are suffering because their mothers are either late, or they were abandoned immediately after birth. That a child has a present mother isn’t even enough proof that they don’t suffer as a result of her horrible parenting approach. Some women gave birth because they were pushed to think that they just had to, and since, deep down, they never wanted to, the end results turned out to be horrible, almost catastrophic.

If you are so concerned about children, if they really mean so much to you, and that’s your motivating factor, why are you pressuring this one woman who doesn’t want to give birth (and not necessarily because she can’t), instead of worrying about the ones that the earth already has, that are dying constantly, due to inadequate care.

There are at least two approaches that people have to seeing a bird that is not flying. They think- well, she’s either in a cage, or she doesn’t know how to. Why don’t we go out of our way to teach her, and if she still doesn’t fly, we throw her in the air anyway, so she can break her leg. Better still, we cage her. Why should a bird just be on her feet, not flapping her wings, not singing, if she’s truly free?

Therefore, sir, ma, to whom this may concern, how can we best support you, so you can aspire to (at least) be sensible in the nearest future?

Dear Actress, Stop Playing “Girlfriend”

cropped-aderonkeeeeeeeI was recently discussing with one of my acquaintances on Instagram, and we, both being sensitive healers, knew what we were talking about in detail- we didn’t have to use too many words. Attracting “wounded”, “whoever you end up with will be lucky”, “I am forever indebted to you for all your help”, commitment-phobic men, isn’t one of the perks of being a natural helper/healer. It’s worse when you fall in love with your patient too, while waiting for them to heal and make up their mind about you soon. You keep being friends, but act like you are dating, without mutually agreeing to be friends with benefits, most times. Sisters, stop being so passive; the heartbreak, when reality sets in, would be so unbearable.

That a man is single and treats you like a girlfriend doesn’t make you his girlfriend. Look, I repeat, that a man is single, and treats you like a girlfriend, doesn’t make you his girlfriend. If a man wants to have phone sex or physical sex with you, send you kiss emojis or kiss you, if he wants to put you in charge of several things in his life, but suddenly withdraws and makes you feel like a huge pain in the neck when you (want to) ask about who you are to him, what’s really going on, or they go ahead to say you are a friend [and nothing more, in case you didn’t already figure that out], sis, that is not your future husband, snap out of it.

It is not your job to heal a man who has been heartbroken in the past; don’t be the sacrifical lamb for his healing. Consider the other people that seem to be in love with you; don’t tell yourself you are in a love relationship because you are not. This is funny to say though, because you are almost never in love with people who are seriously in love with you- we sometimes choose to act like we are, while hoping that we would come to love them as much as they love us at some point.

If you have been in this kind of situation, in the distant or recent past, don’t expect to stop loving him (or her) “that way” as soon as you choose to; it’s not going to happen. Be prepared to stick with it for as long as it takes. Turn your pain or frustration into art; it always helps. Write, sing, play, make new friends, learn how to play a musical instrument, try new things. Don’t shut your heart to love; if someone isn’t in love with you, if they aren’t interested in loving you like you want to be loved, PLEASE LET SOMEONE ELSE LOVE YOU! Don’t let this experience make you bitter and hard-hearted.

My Chiron and Pallas are conjunct my North Node in the 8th house, if you are into astrology, and it’s my destiny to deal with pain, death, transformation, and rebirth, and be a helper to others in whatever capacity that I choose. You may deal with a depression, or a depression of sorts, while still going about your business as usual, but don’t fight back the tears when you feel them coming, and don’t hesitate to help other people, if you are like me, as it aids your healing.

Also, if it’s your destiny, you’d attract people who are hurt, and whether or not you are completely healed and over it yourself, don’t doubt your ability to make people feel better. Love, when unrequited, is a killer, and it’s up to you to choose to be immortal. Light and love!

My Only Regret

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The only regret that I have
is having regrets-
regretting things that I had
not even attempted yet,
hating myself for making mistakes,
for not being able to change
the things that I couldn’t,
thinking that things end because
they should never have been,
killing myself for wanting to live.

En dehors de ce regret,
je ne regrette rien.

Test Your Love on Yourself First

Portrait of a Girl by Akinola Lasekan

Painted by A. Lasekan

Test your love on yourself first
before you offer it to someone else.
How can your body and soul
completely give out something that
they don’t even really have?

Are you saving all your love for someone,
for someone else,
that is not you,
without saving some of your love,
not even some,
for yourself?

Crying Helps

You can cry if you need to, sky;
you can cry if you need to.
I saw your lighting,
and I heard your thunder;
I know you are upset.

I will come out to sing for you,
and dance for you,
stretch my hands to you,
until you stop.
You can shed your tears into my palms.

I won’t hide from you;
you can’t always be strong.
I’ll listen to you,
and say nice words to you;
I won’t go till I see your sun.

Let’s Give the Sky a Show

I bet the members of the firmament 
always wonder what we do indoors
after we leave the courtyard each night.
Let me make love to you here tonight
before their very eyes.
Let’s make the moon shine brighter in shock,
and give the stars something different to twinkle about.

Venus in “Deadtrograde”

A plate of pain keeps
the potential heartbreaker away.
Two glasses of my old tears daily
will help me not go astray.
I am strong and I need no one’s attention,
but I want to be desired,
and I want affection,
but I was hurt,
I don’t want a repetition,
but I want love,
and I can feel the tension.

I don’t cry.
I don’t cry anymore because
there’s a pool of my tears
in my heart,
and I like to swim in it,
or go down, down, down,
and drown,
when a potential One
comes too close
to my feelings’ flat.
If anyone is to decide when I drown,
it has to be me, myself and I.
Would you give another potential
pretentious,
manipulative
dingbat
a chance to decide when you die?

Six planets are in retrograde
in my natal chart,
and venus used to be one of them,
but she’s not anymore.
My venus is dead;
a man has stabbed my sickly venus to death.

Life is a Tyranny & Time is the Ruler

We are slaves of Time.
It is not a male or a female;
it is a lot greater than both.
It puts us in tight chains
before we even exist.
It is an invincible master
that cannot be rebelled against.
From the time we are born
till the time we die,
time rules us.

Today, it is too early;
tomorrow, it is too late.
Today, we are too young to do this;
tomorrow, we are too old to do that,
till our breaths are seized from us.

Life makes us do time,
and whether we like it or not,
we do it with our hearts behind our backs,
helpless.

You’re My Home

I breathe easier when I think of you.
I feel better when I talk to you.
I beam all day when I dream of you.
I find refuge and strength in you.