I am Naked & Still Not Asking For It

Naked and Still

If you blame your lack of discipline on your gender, like “I’m a man. I couldn’t control myself”, you are dehumanizing yourself and reinforcing the sick “facts” that the society teaches, that in the sight of an unclad or nearly-unclad woman, it is okay to juggle between being a man and a lower animal because it definitely means she’s asking you to touch her or stick a part of you into her, whether or not she does so verbally. 

The interesting part, while we make a case for the clad and nearly-unclad, is that fully-clothed women get raped too. If you step out without a man at a certain hour of the night in certain parts of any country, with your burka, hijab, or an equivalent, you could still get molested. Girl-children and babies get molested too, raped by their own fathers in the most hideous of instances, so you wonder if it really has anything to do with the amount of clothing that a woman is expected to have on to be entitled to a certain level of respect and dignity as a human being.

A real man isn’t a man who can perform sexual acts when he is asked or permitted to. Any man can get an erection and do all kinds of things. An hour of pornography could get a man who doesn’t even what sex is “up and running”.

A real man is one who decides and disciplines himself not to do any of those things without express permission from the owner of the body or mind. It almost looks patronizing at this point, since a human is supposed to have a decent level of discipline. “I am only human”; you are only so, but being so should come with certain perks, like not being lower-animal-like. Stating so is a form of disrespect to our lower-animal counterparts themselves, since they traditionally engage in a series of acts before mating. Even these animals know how to woo their females or males and receive the equivalent of a “yes”.

The “express permission” should be the kind that could be, without reasonable doubt, held to be genuine before any sitting and before any group of people. A “yes” isn’t even a “yes” if the (wo)man is intoxicated. Even that “yes” cannot be defended to be genuine without reasonable doubt.

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Floor-Her and Flaw-Her [Flora My Flawa]

I was listening to Davido’s Flora My Flawa, and I heard the line that messed me up for about five good minutes. At first, I was listening to Adekunle Gold’s Ire. My autoplay was on, and when Ire was done, several videos were automatically played till it got to Flora My Flawa. What in the world does “if nothing lasts forever o, me and you go be nothing forever o” mean?

Flora

“If nothing lasts forever, you and I will be nothing forever.”

The mind game in that sentence is intense. The first part of that sentence has been strategically placed to distract the listener.

“If nothing lasts forever, you and I will be nothing forever.”

It means:
i. You and I will be nothing, and we will be nothing forever, since “nothing lasts forever”.

However, a person who might be more trusting of sweet words- a person who can be easily cajoled- would think it means:
ii. You and I will last forever; we will be like “nothing”, since “nothing lasts forever”.

It’s crazy how that sentence could mean two or more things at once. I could expand on what a third meaning would be, but I’d rather not. Mercury is in retrograde, and since Mercury is dominant in my chart- it’s the ruler, trying hard to make myself over-analyze anything at this time could drive me crazy. At least, Uranus is not in retrograde. Phew!

“If nothing lasts forever, you and I will be nothing forever.”

It’s one of those “make whatever you wish of it” sentences. It’s quite interesting.

On a lighter note, look at the poster for the song below.

davido-flora-my-flawa-article

That cupid looks like its up to no good; like he’s about to ruin someone’s life. He looks like mischief itself to me. See how red the tongue is too; Oluwa, saanu fun wa. It’s probably so red as a result of sucking life and happiness out of innocent ladies.

Also, is that a stud earring? Chai. May the forces keep us safe from the deceptions of the Yoruba demons that continue to break hearts, ruin souls and waste lives.

Ki oju ma ribi, gbogbo ara logun re; stay cautious and alert in your dealings with sweet-tongued men, especially Yoruba demons. Whenever you are being toasted [wooed], listen to each word attentively. Don’t let them make you giggle your wisdom, knowledge and understanding away. Don’t let them cunningly collect your Saturday from you and give you Sunday in exchange. Ire o.

Saying “you and I will be something forever” would have made me less uneasy about the song, by the way.  No, I’m I’m kidding. It’s a nice song, and my criticism is just banter. I’ll dance to it again for sure. Whenever it gets to the “if nothing lasts forever, you and I will be nothing forever” line, I’ll just pretend like it doesn’t bother me, even if I begin to shake visibly as a result of my skepticism.

Heal

Were there terrible men and women in your lives,
relatives or non-relatives, at any point,
who found it pleasing to compare your beauty to someone else’s, 
in order to get to you and make you think less of yourself
or get you to agree to whatever perversion they wanted to try with you.

“You are fine but not as fine as your mother. Why are you feeling yourself?
Remove your skirt, let me see your legs” and such.

I bring you healing. You are beautiful, and I’m not just trying to patronize you. Don’t ever let anyone determine what you think of yourself.