Till Death Do Us Part

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Let’s stay together,
if not my heart you’ll sever,
till death do us part.

I’ll do anything for you,
try anything you want to,
till death do us part.

Your pain is my pain,
your love is my gain,
till death do us part.

This isn’t right,
this isn’t healthy,
but you say that I’m your lady,
and I like when you call me ‘baby’,
so let’s be wild,
let’s be free,
and listen to no one but we,
let us be one and the same,
neither needs to take the blame,
my life is very you and me,
without you, I cannot breathe or sleep,
without you, I simply cannot see,
our love is ill,

and it might kill,
but I’ll stay with you,
oh yes, I will,
till death do us part.

Enough is enough, except you can’t get enough.
Substitute Title: Houston-Winehouse Love
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Differently-Abled

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My legs may not walk as they should,
and my eyes may not see,
my ears may not hear as they should,
and my mouth may not speak,
my nose may not breathe as it should,
and my arms may not reach,
but I am not flawed,
and certainly not disabled,
I am differently-abled,
earth angel on a special mission
to create, heal and inspire,
and whether you know it or not,
or love and understand me,

what a beauty that is!

For Toma.

painty

🌻
Accessibility/convenience and the portrayal of differently-abled persons in the media, especially in movies, must be looked into in Nigeria. As a matter of fact, I don’t want to see an actor play the role of a person with cerebral palsy if there are people with the condition who are looking to perform but have never been given a chance. I will personally rubbish your movie on any platform that I get a chance to. Fight me.

From the classrooms to the stores to the public vehicles, the structures that are in place are rather poor, most of the people are terribly insensitive, and the environment is rather hostile to differently-abled persons. This goes for several other African and Asian countries too.

My Love, I Don’t Understand

Screen Shot 2019-05-31 at 3.14.35 PM

‘ Reclining Lady’ by Margaret Garcia

Baby, now that you’re out of flesh,
do you really still see me?
Do you rub my belly when we’re together alone?
Do you still hold my hand when I pee?

Darling, now that you don’t have a mouth,
can you still taste some of my food?
Do you still giggle when I dance unclad for you?
Do I still get you in the mood?

Honey, without your hands and arms,
can you feel my temperature when I’m ill?
Do you twitch my nipples and kiss my lips?
Is my love a thing you can feel?

My love, do you like my new waist beads?
I can’t tell, and it’s driving me crazy.
Why won’t you come take me,
so I can be with you?
Will we never make a baby?

Talking About the Way We Talk

margaret garcia

Painted by Margaret Garcia


I am beginning to dislike talking. 🤷🏽‍♀️ I don’t get irritated all the time, but yes, I do most times. I can bear hearing people talk, nicely, for hours and hours on end, as long as my input is not necessarily required, and if it is, not for very long. It is a weird thing to confess but it is true.

My solar return chart says my Mercury, Mars, and North Node are in the 12th house, and this feeling may or may not be related to that, but the hard sounds that we make when we talk, as humans in general (me included), are getting very hard on my ears, especially when we say unkind things. It makes my ears bleed. Although there’s never any blood, 😫  it feels that way. I wish we would speak softly more.

On the other hand, I enjoy music. I can’t survive for the next 12 hours without listening to lyrics and beats. I would get very uncomfortable.  

I listen to all kinds of artistes- Fela, Freddie, Sinatra, Michael, Nina, Amy, several others, for hours on end, and of course, some of these artistes are more soft-spoken than others. It’s interesting how beautiful even yelling becomes when it is done musically. I don’t ever get tired of listening to music. As a matter of fact, as soon as I stop listening to music, I get very stressed. It takes me about a minute to adjust to regular sounds.

I don’t dislike singing along either- I enjoy it! I sometimes get carried away at work.  I’m seated in front of my desktop, working and all, but I’m not really there. I’m somewhere else dancing away while doing my work, efficiently too. It’s amazing!

So, ladies and gentlemen, humankind, I would like to propose a change to the way that we talk! I am so excited; I hope you would be too!

Drum roll
😋
Drum roll
😋
Applause here
😋
Applause there
😋
Drum roll
😙
You probably already know what I’m about to propose.
😃

Let’s not talk; let’s sing! 

You know, speak rhythmically, even in our day-to-day conversations.

‘HeLlo, DiD yOu HaVe A GoOd NiGhT?’, la-la-la-la-la, and stuff. It’d be amazing! Imagine how beautiful it would be to speak rhythmically, and even quarrel rhythmically. ‘WeLl,  yOu, HuRt Me VeRy MuCh’ and stuff.

I’ll give you a minute to picture it. Go on.

1

It’d be more difficult to say something unkind because you would have to sing it. Ha! *sinister chuckle 😈*

I hope someone takes me seriously and this becomes possible sometime in the future. It’s 2019. By the year 2219, I (in whatever form I will be) would be pretty disappointed if we still speak the way we do.

Already, I know that we will use words less in the future. With the emergence of emojis and signs and stuff, and the vast reduction in the use of unnecessarily lengthy and vague words, it’d be interesting to see what’s next, as far as language is concerned.

It was pretty normal to say something like ‘wherefore hast thou made all men…’ in the past, but it’s reserved for theatre performances now. I will not be surprised if the way we speak now is even diluted further in the future.

On a more-serious note, I’m trying to picture how talking rhythmically would work in classrooms, if we were to start today, all of us. I teach Yorùbá language on YouTube, and it’d be super hard to try to teach the language rhythmically. Maybe we can reserve the way we talk now for certain functions, like teaching languages and presidential speeches, but speak rhythmically when addressing our children or co-workers and giving speeches. I’d love to give or hear a rhythmic speech.

This could work! It would be good for us and for mother nature, and for my eardrums. *Tsk* 😄

The First One Dies First

Hip Bone

‘Hip Bone’ by Gilbert Young

Yesterday,
you braced yourself.

With all the courage that you had,
you told them how you really felt,
and what all your affection meant.

Today,
they tell you that they love you.
They’re here to make your dark sky blue.
You give them butterflies inside too,
so they show you life,
and it’s brand new.
It’s an exciting time for you two,

and there’s nothing,
for your baby,
that you can’t do.

Tomorrow,
you’re going to have a big fight;

the things that they’ll say will hurt you.
If you threaten to leave if they don’t change,
they’ll react in a way that you’ll find strange.
The words that they’ll say will be quite true,
“I didn’t come to you first,
I didn’t want you.”

On Spirituality: ‘Ishan Lo Pa Bruce Lee’

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“Janine at 39, Mother of Twins” is a 2000 oil on canvas by Margaret Garcia.

My people can be quite “funny”.

Whenever you start to get extra passionate about something, Nigerians (that belong to a certain category) will tell you “gbe ishan sile”, “ishan lo pa Bruce Lee”, agidi lo pa Tupac”, which translates to “relax your muscles/nerves”, “muscles [flexing] killed Bruce Lee, stubbornness killed Tupac”. It’s not so amusing when you translate it to English, is it? #LostInTranslation

We all know that the aforementioned statements are incorrect. Bruce Lee didn’t die while flexing his muscles, and although Tupac was stubborn (sometimes, unnecessarily so), his stubbornness didn’t kill him per se; he was shot. Somehow, my people have connected who these people were to the causes of their deaths. I find these statements rude, by the way, extremely rude, but I’ll confess that I chuckle when I hear them. 

Lately, I have been very upset, almost angry, that my spiritual/psychic growth has been rather slow. I assist people intuitively through tarot/oracle card readings and all, but, I really am not where I want to be. I want to see things more vividly and feel things more distinctly, but, I’ve not been able to experience the strong, crystal-clear connections that I seek. 

I wasn’t here 2-6 years ago. Haha! Nope! I was struggling, dying, to put it lightly, and I didn’t know too much about my life path and purpose. I was depressed, and my weight gain was far too rapid, in my opinion, within those years. What I was forgetting, until it was brought to my attention via a reading that I did for myself (and a video that I found), was the importance of patience and taking things easy. I discovered that I was a nun or a priestess in my past life, a bit of a hermit/recluse, and if I really was a priestess (since it has been confirmed over and over again), my soul probably misses being able to connect more, spiritually. I terribly miss the heightened levels of intuition and the spiritual gifts that I probably used to have, and so I want them back. It must be the reason I was getting so upset about having to start from scratch, so to speak.

My life path number is 7, and seeking for more spiritual knowledge and connection is a part of who I am, but I mustn’t be so obsessed about it that I forget the importance of patience and living in the present. In that video, this one, Amanda was using the analogy of wanting a relationship so bad, so intensely, that you scare the other person off and end up ruining everything. Ouch! 

So these spiritual gifts and abilities are coming, more ideas and inspiration too, and there really is no need to rush it or get it all in a day. Things don’t work that way, and it’s not that I didn’t know that; I really don’t know what I was thinking.

To other lightworkers like me, teachers and healers, who desire a stronger connection to the spirit realm so deeply, it’s a process. There is no need to rush. As long as we stay connected and hopeful, and do whatever we can with what we already have, Spirit and our other spirit guides will take care of the rest, and make us stronger.

The Priestess

The High Priestess (2018)

Painted by Kiarra Lynn Smith

The high priestess lives on her throne,
the wounded healer,
scarred to the bone.

Drenched in her own precious blood,
the tears she holds in                             
could make a flood.

The souls before her form a line,
her chants, the bread,
her music, the wine.

She closes her eyes to see and feel;
she was raised to serve,
uplifted to kneel.

Clairaudience?

I travelled to Osun state with my mum one time and I don’t think I’ll ever forget what happened. We visited a friend of hers one evening, and after eating, my mum said she was going somewhere different from where we all were to pray. I decided to pack the used plates and do the dishes, and once I had done that, tidy the kitchen up a bit. There wasn’t anything else to do, really, except watch TV. 

I was almost done with the dishes when I heard my name, very clearly in fact, like the caller was just behind the door, and it came through as my mum’s voice. My very thought was she wanted me to join her and her friend in the prayer, and [I feel very impelled to ask God for forgiveness at this point] my first inner reaction was ‘nope’. I responded that I was coming, and I rinsed my hands (and probably did something else) before going to look for her.

When I got to her, I told her that I had approached her in response to her call, and she just looked at me. She said she didn’t call me. What? Who called me then?

Her friend told me not to respond if I heard my name again. I didn’t know how to feel. My mum is not one for pranks, so I knew it wasn’t a prank. She really didn’t call me; someone else did.

Did I hear my name again?
Yes, faintly this time.
Did I respond?
No.

I am pretty sure the reaction to this would be “you are probably very used to hearing your mum call you” or “it was all in your mind” or “she called you and she probably forgot she did”. Sis, I shit you not, I know what I heard. As a matter of fact, it was happening very frequently at a time in my life. 

My brother and I had a similar experience. We were downstairs in the rain very late one evening, chatting away about everything and nothing, trying to put buckets in spaces where they could collect rainwater, when we heard a very loud voice saying inaudible words. We dismissed it, convinced each other that it was from our neighbour’s house or somewhere else, before we heard it again. It was a very deep voice and it sounded like it was coming from above us. It wasn’t a familiar voice because we would have recognized the speaker right away. My brother and I still laugh about the speed with which we ran up the stairs; we still don’t understand what on earth that was till this day.

I did a personal reading to see the psychic gifts that I either have or will have in the future and these cards were included in the list of cards that I got:

I was reading things online about signs of clairaudience, and a content creator touched on very similar experiences to the ones I’ve had, including the one that I have described. I still don’t know if I’m clairaudient. “Clairaudience” sounds really fancy and sophisticated.

We’ll see, I guess.

Moon Phase and Birth: The Moon Really Was Following You!

moon

“Moon Child’ by Michael Prosper

As a child, whenever I was out late with my family, I remember being extremely fascinated by the moon. I would look up to the sky and see the moon, and I was always excited because I thought she [permit me to personify- I can’t help it] was following my father’s car. I would recite “I see the moon, the moon sees me, God bless the moon, and God bless me”, a rhyme that I learnt when I was in primary/elementary school, until my family got home. On nights when my family was in the backyard pounding yam or simply spending time in open air, I would always notice the moon.

A lot of people can relate to me in this way, people who were fascinated by the moon as children, and still are, as adults. However, I doubt that so many people understand how very significant the moon is to their life purpose. You were probably told that the moon was not following you, that you are not special, and that it is nothing but an optical illusion. I disagree! Haha! It appears that way for a reason; it is a spiritual truth!

The phase of the moon under which you were born gives very many clues about who you are and what you are here in this human incarnation/reincarnation for. Discussing moon signs in astrology are a bit more common than moon phases; however, not many people know anything else apart from their sun signs. A person may know that their sun sign is Capricorn but they may only be relate to the common qualities that are given to people who have that sun sign to an extent, and so they dismiss astrology in and of itself as trash.

Taking the sun sign alone as an example, a person who was has their Sun in Capricorn in the 3rd house would express it very differently from someone who has the same sun sign in the 12th house. Many people don’t know their ascendant/rising signs (that affect how they appear and express themselves to people, especially at first), their Moon signs (that affect how they translate and express their emotions), their Mercury signs (that influence their communication and self-expression styles), their Venus, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune, and Pluto signs, the position of asteroids like Chiron, Eros, Pallas, Juno, and Vesta in their birth charts, and the house placements that these planets and asteroids have. All of these combined give a very detailed clue of who a person is, where their strengths and weaknesses lie, and much more. Even if you don’t want to know anything else, know what your North Node is, the sign it is in, and the house it is in, because it tells you a lot about what you are supposed to deal with, heal, and develop in this lifetime.

My exact birth time was most-likely not recorded. I was lucky enough to have it rectified because my mum told me I was born not long after midnight, which would be anytime between 12.00 am and 1.00 am. My mum seemed a bit uncomfortable about me asking; she was unsure of how knowing one’s birth time would be relevant to anything. Was I able to tell her why I wanted to know my birth time? No, absolutely not. 

Before I knew who I was, and began to understand what my life purpose is, I was very depressed because the religion that I had adopted [literally since birth, which I still pretend to be very much interested in, in order to please/keep the peace at home, but only for a limited time] was not for me. I knew there was more to life, and more to me, than I had come to know, but I didn’t pay attention. I was taught that being open-minded was dangerous and demonic, and for many years, I was very deeply spiritually, physically, and mentally unwell. A painful experience was a catalyst for my knowing myself a lot more; I thank God/Spirit very much for it.

I take any fairly reliable academic test and do spiritual research as frequently as I can to know as much as I can about myself, other people, and life itself. I have a Sagittarius moon and my North Node is in the 8th house; I can see how they are playing out in my life. I have the personality of an INFJ, according to Myers–Briggs standards, I am an introvert- I have a melancholic-phlegmatic temperament, my life path is 7, and I was born under the Waning Gibbous moon, which is the most-relevant to what I intend to discuss. Enough about me!

I’d like to address moon phases and the influences that they have on us at birth. These are the moon phases that have existed for centuries and still do:

  1. New – the new moon is not visible
  2. Waxing Crescent – the Moon starts growing
  3. First Quarter – the moon looks like half a circle
  4. Waxing Gibbous – still growing
  5. Full – we see the entire circle of the Moon light up
  6. Waning Gibbous – the Moon starts shrinking
  7. Third Quarter – again, only half a circle is visible
  8. Waning Crescent – the Moon is about to disappear

moonphases

It is very important to know the moon phase under which you were born. Being born under the Waning Gibbous moon makes me a natural teacher, whether or not I sit in a classroom, let alone teach in one, and I know it’s true.

To determine the phase of the moon that you were born under, click here. When you find out what it is, you may read these descriptions and see how it applies to you, according to Thought Catalog:

1. New Moon:
If your lunar personality is New Moon, you focus your life on growth, progression and learning. You are always eager to discover something new, change your life for the better, and are keenly interested in evolving society and humankind. The combination of your interest in the world and your desire to improve it makes you a uniquely driven innovator – and that manifests largely in how you think.

You are naturally curious, hopeful but sometimes self-doubting and depreciating. It can be hard for you to see a situation beyond your subjective view of it, and sometimes you can become frustrated as what you understand seems so self-evident, and you don’t comprehend how other people don’t see life the way you do.

Pay attention to what you plant and create in the earlier stages of your life. You will reap what you have sown as you grow older.

2. First Crescent/Waxing Crescent Moon:
If your lunar personality is First Crescent, you are determined. You’re known for being interested, creative and at times, stubborn. However, it’s that insistence that you know what you want that moves you forward in life.

You are someone who straddles between appreciating tradition and progressiveness, and you will find that often in your life, succeeding is not so much about trying harder, but allowing more. You will often find that the thing that is most holding you back… is just you.

Pay attention to your 20s and your 30s. It’s in these years that you’ll have the most exponential growth.

3. First Quarter Moon:
If your lunar personality is First Quarter, you are a rebel at heart. You refuse to accept anything if you disagree with it. You’re emotional and attuned to your feelings, and sometimes that can get you in trouble. You will have to learn to also value other people’s ideas and to not let your feelings get the most of you if you really want to thrive.

You are someone who likes to evaluate what’s already been built, and then expand upon it. You’re a really important mix of “big picture thinker” and “small detail executor.” This makes you uniquely positioned to be someone who brings real change to your own life and the lives of those around you. You will be most productive in a self-designed career.

Pay attention to the years just before mid-life, particularly your 30s and 40s. It will take you until then to really start to step into your stride, but once you do, you will be unstoppable.

4. Waxing Gibbous Moon:
If your lunar personality is Waxing Gibbous Moon, you are a healer and humanitarian. You care about other people sometimes more than you even do yourself, and the pain and suffering of others is something that you are not only highly sensitive to, but also want to help transform.

Whether you’re aware of it or not, your mission in life is to help the world in some way. One of your strengths is that you are not so easily sold on the idea that worldly success = real happiness, and understand that truly feeling fulfilled and finding meaning in your life is about learning to help others and help yourself, too.

Pay attention to middle age, that’s when you’ll really thrive. Not because your life will not be enjoyable until then, but because your peers will start reaching a deeper maturity and be able to recognize the importance of your contributions to the world.

5. Full Moon:
If you were born on the full moon or in the full moon cycle, your life is about creating the extraordinary in the ordinary, and becoming who you truly are. You were born with an important purpose in life, one you will become aware of at a young age, and will spend the rest of your time bringing into fruition.

You are also a very sensitive person. You’re intuitive and empathetic, and take on the problems of the world. You are extremely aware of your emotions, and regularly go through periods of purging and renewing. This is all in service of your highest purpose.

More than anything, your life is about growth. Even though you sometimes struggle with “irrational” feelings and over-sensitivity, you will grow through these and into your total self. You will notice that in your life you are gifted streaks of luck and “chance encounters” that help you manifest your highest desires. You are meant for the happily ever after in this life, you must only remember to keep working toward it.

Pay attention to each season of your life. Every decade offers a new set of lessons, goals and achievements.

6. Waning Gibbous Moon:
If you were born on the Waning Gibbous moon, you are a teacher by nature. You may not necessarily work in a classroom, but you feel a deep need to “leave your legacy,” and change the world in whatever small way you can.

You are hopeful, interested, and future-oriented. Your life will be about bringing change to the lives of those around you, showing love in simple but important ways. You are less concerned about your ego as you are making a genuine impact on the world, whether or not you always get credit for it. You know, deep down, that what you sow, you shall also reap.

You are someone who is interested in history, art and how different ideas can come together and coexist. In this sense, you are both creative and artistic. You are an intellect by nature, and enjoy having information at your disposal.

Pay attention to the time after mid-life. You will find true peace in your “golden years.”

7. Last Quarter/Third Quarter Moon:
If you were born in the Third Quarter moon, you have the gift of deep understanding. You have what other people would refer to as a “truth gauge,” and you’re highly intuitive.

You’re also very opinionated. You reject mainstream opinions, and like to come up with theories of your own. You are a very skilled worker, especially when it’s for a cause you believe in. You are inherently mature, and will often display traits of that maturity at a young age.

You sometimes struggle with the opinions of others, and how deeply (or not) you will let your life be guided by them. Fear not, because as time goes on, you will gradually learn to think for yourself completely.

Pay attention to your later years, your 60s-70s. That will be the time that you genuinely stop caring what anybody thinks, and boldly live your truth.

8. Balsamic Moon/Waning Crescent:
If you were born during a Balsamic Moon, you are a thinker and spiritualist. You have the innate ability to understand things beyond this realm, and you often find yourself contemplating ideas, possibilities and existential theories.

You were born with a culminate wisdom that will serve you and humanity greatly. You will not do anything that does not inherently make sense to you, and the deeper you accept your spiritual communion with the Universe, the more peaceful and light you will feel.

It is your duty on Earth to channel some of the most powerful and healing ideas that aren’t accessible to people too stuck in their egos to understand.

Pay attention to your older years, 60s-80s. You will begin to truly thrive off of what you’ve spent the past decades building.

This is another useful resource- MoonGiant. This link would lead to what it means to be born under the full moon, but when you scroll to the bottom of the page, there would be links to descriptions of other moon phases.

Many things combine to give a clearer picture of who you are, and obviously, how a person born under a full moon in Leo with a life path 5 would behave/interact with the world would be a lot of different from how someone with a full moon in Pisces in the 9th house would. No one placement dictates the whole truth about you; it is the combination. Most importantly, don’t forget that these placements impel but do not compel; they do not dictate who you must be and how you must live.

The universe is so grand, so beautiful, so simple, yet, so complex, so pleasurable, yet, so terribly painful. I am in deep awe! I encourage you to do more research about these things.

Between Worlds

SLEEP BY RENAT RAMAZANOV

‘Sleep’ by Renat Ramazanov

Do you know what it means,
do you know how it feels,
to be one of the living
at a time when you are dead?

To not be of that world,
the one you left behind,
or be fully in that one,
the one that is ahead.

You are able to move
but you can barely walk.
You are able to say words
but you can barely talk.
You are very sensitive
but you can barely sense.
You remember how to remember
but you can barely think.

You are able to hear
but you very barely know.
It’s hard for you to understand,
and so painfully so.
You are able to look
but you can barely see.
You’re hanging in midair;
you don’t have any wings.

To not be able to rewind
and start all over again,
or be able to move on,
and fly far far away.

Do you know what it means
when everything means nothing?
Do you know how it feels
when you cannot feel?