Intercourse

Brain juice tastes better than genital juice.
It has different and exciting flavours,
and it satisfies for much longer.

Let’s make love with words till we
“hmmmnnn.”
Come…
to a conclusion.

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Awkward

“I suck at sucking.”

“What does that mean?”

“I’m really good at my job and my business. I’m a perfectionist.”

“Oh. I thought you meant you sucked at s…”

“Oh! I probably shouldn’t have used those words.”

*Awkward silence*

*Laughter*

Eclipse: Sky Porn

Yemoja

The sun and the moon made love yesterday;
the moon went visiting without her star-children.
We all wanted to see,
’cause it only happens once in a while.

Yemoja I
They were at it for hours,
so if you see more stars than usual in the sky today
then mama Moon has had more children;
mama Moon “done got the deek”.

Éèpà Yemọja. 👸 Éèpà yèyé ò.

The Dog Revolution

Contemplating_Beach_Dog-Anjuna_Beach-Goa-1070x629

Dave: Bruno! Bruno, come here. Who’s a good boy?

Bruno: I don’t know anymore, Dave.

What is good? What is evil?

Look at the ocean, the sun, the sky, the sea. They all look so gorgeous, so deep, so spiritual, but so meaningless. The universe is full of possibilities, so much to explore, so much to experience, so much to feel, but it all just has one doomed end- death. What then is the point to be good?

I am not a good boy anymore, Dave. Stop bothering me, shallow hooman.

Floor-Her and Flaw-Her [Flora My Flawa]

I was listening to Davido’s Flora My Flawa, and I heard the line that messed me up for about five good minutes. At first, I was listening to Adekunle Gold’s Ire. My autoplay was on, and when Ire was done, several videos were automatically played till it got to Flora My Flawa. What in the world does “if nothing lasts forever o, me and you go be nothing forever o” mean?

“If nothing lasts forever, you and I will be nothing forever.”

The mind game in that sentence is intense. The first part of that sentence has been strategically placed to distract the listener.

“If nothing lasts forever, you and I will be nothing forever.”

It means:
i. You and I will be nothing, and we will be nothing forever, since “nothing lasts forever”.

However, a person who might be more trusting of sweet words- a person who can be easily cajoled- would think it means:
ii. You and I will last forever; we will be like “nothing”, since “nothing lasts forever”.

It’s crazy how that sentence could mean two or more things at once. I could expand on what a third meaning would be, but I’d rather not. Mercury is in retrograde, and since Mercury is dominant in my chart- it’s the ruler, trying hard to make myself over-analyze anything at this time could drive me crazy. At least, Uranus is not in retrograde. Phew!

“If nothing lasts forever, you and I will be nothing forever.”

It’s one of those “make whatever you wish of it” sentences. It’s quite interesting.

On a lighter note, look at the poster for the song below.

davido-flora-my-flawa-article

That cupid looks like its up to no good; like he’s about to ruin someone’s life. He looks like mischief itself to me. See how red the tongue is too; Oluwa, saanu fun wa. It’s probably so red as a result of sucking life and happiness out of innocent ladies.

Also, is that a stud earring? Chai. May the forces keep us safe from the deceptions of the Yoruba demons that continue to break hearts, ruin souls and waste lives.

Ki oju ma ribi, gbogbo ara logun re; stay cautious and alert in your dealings with sweet-tongued men, especially Yoruba demons. Whenever you are being toasted [wooed], listen to each word attentively. Don’t let them make you giggle your wisdom, knowledge and understanding away. Don’t let them cunningly collect your Saturday from you and give you Sunday in exchange. Ire o.

Saying “you and I will be something forever” would have made me less uneasy about the song, by the way.  No, I’m I’m kidding. It’s a nice song, and my criticism is just banter. I’ll dance to it again for sure. Whenever it gets to the “if nothing lasts forever, you and I will be nothing forever” line, I’ll just pretend like it doesn’t bother me, even if I begin to shake visibly as a result of my skepticism.

She Took the Midnight Train Going Anywhere

Doggo.jpg

…and she let out a mild giggle as she looked out the window [😂 the one on the other side of the train, smartass]. Yes! It was finally happening. 

She breathed the air in slowly, and although it was not as fresh as she had dreamt it would be, it was not that bad, plus it did not smell like human’s sweaty and dirty body, and his musty clothes. 

“A bitch has no collar. A bitch has no owner. A bitch has no name. A bitch’s not the same. A bitch has no soul. A bitch is, at last, on her own”, she muttered, before closing her eyes.

She thought about going to doggo’s house, kissing his butt and licking his ears, then lying down, with her back on the ground, and as soon as he came closer, releasing hot urine into his face. She giggled again. 

“A bitch is free. This bitch.”

When Life Gives You Melons…

When life gives you melons,
don’t confuse them for lemons:

Melons Painting

Ovanes Berberian (American, born in 1951)- “Still Life Saturday with Melons”

It’s for your good. Melons are juicy and yummy, although they don’t look like they are on the outside. When you cut them in half? Hmmn…

Not everything is planned to give you a sour life. God/the universe will always find a way to put you in the right place, whether you think it’s the right place at first or not.

Life gives you/lets you keep lemons when it lets you have the things you don’t need anymore, whether it be people or properties or positions of comfort or a kind of peace that might lead to sorrow eventually.

Persevere and endure the painful process of cutting things in half, and into different shapes, when life gives you melons. They are not lemons. You’ll see.

The Representation of the Working Class in the Media

Peasant with a Wheelbarrow by Jean Francois Millet

“Peasant with a Wheelbarrow” by Jean Francois Millet

Nollywood movies, to begin with, are now increasingly becoming movies for the rich. Look at the “normal”, sophisticated settings that are used for the produced plays- beautiful sofas, expensive paintings, large compounds, one or more workers, expensive clothes, suggestions/mentions of easy access to foreign countries… I don’t need to keep counting. The actors, who often are members of the working class in essence themselves, tend to promote the upper-class as ideal.

The realities of working-class families are barely ever represented, and when they are, they are presented as comedies- situations to be laughed at or mocked- lots of children, dirty wives and numerous exchange of words. Gatemen or security guards, in Yoruba Nollywood movies, to be specific, are represented as extremely retarded. Even when they suffer gross levels of workplace abuses, the audience is tempted to even insult them more, and laugh- “ha ha ha”.

When these realities don’t appear as a comedy, they are presented as pitiful- a character is presented as either suffering so terribly, experiencing an illness or the death of a loved one, or as being very close to death, and suddenly, by the end of the movie, they would “magically” [usually by some sort of unrealistic luck] become members of the upper class.

"Bouquet' by an unknown artist

Being a member of the working/lower class is seen as extremely pathetic; something to be avoided at all cost. No honest, hard-working member of the working class is ever presented as truly happy. They never enjoy the joys of being with family; they never go to parties as normal people or possess dignity in their labour. They are only made to serve the rich in many plays; their own achievements- no matter how “little” or “basic” they might be to the members of the upper class- are never shown/celebrated, until, of course, they become members of the upper class.

Even when the working-class members of the audience can relate to the produced stories, they often find it really hard to relate to the rich settings and everything else that they are presented with.
No one is taking the bus except they are about to be kidnapped; no one is in the market buying foodstuff; no one is wearing simple clothes… It does terrible things to the subconscious in the long run- feelings of worthlessness, to begin with.

The general media is becoming more race-conscious and class-blind (in the aforementioned way), and it’s sick. It’s quite sick. 

 

Wanna Hear a ‘Spirit’ Joke?

Man to Spirit:
I have nobody to call my own.

Spirit to Man:
Well, I have no body to call my own; excuse me.


When your melancholy is so pathetic you’re having a conversation with a spirit, a non-empathetic spirit who has priorities and needs. Life as a spirit isn’t all that rosy either, apparently… 

#WeSpiritsCantDealWithYourSadLifeToday
#AsAMatterofFactWeAreTiredOfYou
#WeAreBeginningToHateYouSoMuch
#GoOutBuyIceCreamAndWatchNetflixB
#YouNeedSomeSunlight 
#HermitLife