“ooooOOOh, we’re breathing hard. It must be love.”
Any man can skillfully undress you; it’s not that hard to do. You should be with a man who doesn’t only desire to hurriedly take your clothes off- a man who puts effort into helping you get dressed too.
You should be with a man who doesn’t only enjoy watching you get naked, but enjoys watching you get dressed just as much.
“You know he’s a Capricorn. They don’t really like to be vulnerable and they don’t have time for affection and love.”
I have a whole Saturn in my 1st house and that’s not true; it’s bullshit.
“He’s a melancholic. They usually don’t text back, so it’s okay if he ignores my texts for a week.”
“They are highly choleric in the family that he’s from. I made him angry so it’s okay if he punches me. To be honest, I deserve it, because he loves me. I can’t lose him now, where will I start from?”
“My grandmother’s aunty’s cousin’s husband’s sister’s nephew told me that some men menstruate. Maybe he’s menstruating at this time, he’s irritable, and he needs to vent his anger on me.”
For 6 months straight? Definitely, you are not okay.
“He is my rock and my pillar; he takes good care of me. He was not always like this and I know he will change. Maybe I am relaxing and I need to do better for him; I need to buy ‘sukura’ [an aphrodisiac] for us.”
Ha! Aunty mi, they’ve finally exchanged your common sense and destiny for a bowl of pap at Obalende. Won ti fi oko gba opolo lowo yin– you’re definitely dickmatized.
“If a man looks down on you, talks down to you, and scolds you, he loves you, he is protecting you, and he is doing what’s best for your growth. There are many girls that want to be where you are, and if he has chosen you, be grateful and do what’s right by him.”
Aunty mi, ewo oro enu yin gatagata bi eyín iya olobi. Olorun, won ti n ba mi seyin se [you are under spiritual attack].