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Unre-QUIT-ed VIII

“I don’t feel the same way about you.”
“I don’t feel the same way…”
“I don’t feel the same…”
“I don’t feel…”

There you are!

Feeling all things and everything
so intensely about a person
in the deepest parts of your soul,
losing the strength to be alone,
trying really hard to be whole,
and they “don’t feel” any of it.

Nothing hurts more.

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If Someone Says You Can’t Do It

If someone tells you
you can’t do something,
certain things might be involved:
It could be something
they think they can’t do,
something they haven’t done,
and since they doubt their own abilities,
they’d definitely doubt yours.

If it is something they can do,
or they have done,
they might be trying to protect you
from the coming challenges
because they were once like you;
they might have gone through some challenges
that they don’t want you to go through,
that they don’t think you are
capable enought to go through.

If none of the aforementioned apply,
they could be jealous of you
because what you want to do
is something they’ve not done,
something they can/want to do
but have not had the opportunity to.

JUST DO IT!

Possessed

Man Painting

He fell in love with her;
she possessed him.
He said things he would never say
and wrote things he would never write.
He saw things he would never see
and did things he would never do.
He shivered,
he cried,
he sang for her,
and when the trance was over,
he was really weak.
He didn’t know what just happened;
“what the hell came over me?”

Love Feelings

You don’t need to know what love is
to know how love feels.

Transition: For Jean Cora

Women-in-Green-oil-on-paper-12

Michael Escoffery

I didn’t realize that you lived
inside my heart till I lost you,
till I experienced the absence
and emptiness that it brought.
With that feeling of emptiness
came great pain and terrible weakness;
how can it be that I won’t see you again?
Why am I experiencing this great loss?
I play memories of you
over and over in my head,
and my hearts bleeds in tears
before I struggle to pause.

Insecure

Insecure.jpg

Michael Escoffery

I chained myself to you because
all I wanted was to be free.
I starved my self and soul to death,
so you could feed and rescue me.
I put a blindfold on and
chose to ignore the signs;
you were all I wanted to see,
even if it cost me my eyes.
I was incomplete without you,
and so, I wasn’t complete with you.
I couldn’t live without you,
and so, I couldn’t live with you.

Love and War

Sonali-_Everything_is_fair_in_love_and_war

“Everything Is Fair In Love And War” by Debajyoti Das , Raiganj

He always had to be right so I left;
we both had to win so we lost each other. 

Make an Eclipse, or Not

Eyes

Oh, moon!
Why are you so afraid of being with the sun
now that he has asked you to?
Why are you so reluctant now,
if your left eye has been an eclipse
since the day of your birth,
and your right eye’ll remain an eclipse
till the day of your death?

I see how you linger afer work
to catch a glimpse of him,
and how he arrives earlier than usual
to catch a glimpse of you,
and how you both blush beautifully
when you see each other in the mornings.

Note: The eye is like a total eclipse. The pupil is the eclipse and the iris and “white” parts of the eye- the iris and the sclera- are the rest of the sky. Also, I was referring to sunrise in the “…linger after work” part…

On second thought, total eclipses are not beautiful or cute, except to the humans who watch below [social-media folks and outsiders], who may or may not know what the couple [the sun and moon] go through in reality. Realists know that whenever a sun and a moon come together, neither of the two is really happy; it results in a lot of dark times.

A moon will never be compatible with a sun. Opposites attract each other ’cause one would often be fascinated by the other, until one begins to take the other for granted, and the other begins to abuse their partner, verbally and emotionally. A business-oriented man who wants to climb the corporate ladder as quickly as possible falls in love with a union activist or a reclusive painter- a sun falls in love with a moon- and they expect to be happy if they commit to each other? Ummm… no. 

Even love will not keep them together.

No Clay for You Anymore

Peju Alatise

Peju Alatise’s Art

I put my heart and soul into
molding a clay pot for you.
You didn’t ask or beg me to,
but for some reason, at that time,
it was the thing that I cared most about.

In the course of molding and shaping,
I asked if you would let me drink
from it when I was done,
from you,
if I ever got thirsty.

Looking back, I’m not sure if I had asked for too much,
or I had said something terribly wrong,
because the resounding “no!” that I heard
cut me deep in the soul.

At that time, I would have become water for you
whenever you were thirsty,
if you wanted me to.
I would have fed you milk from my breasts
and honey from between my thighs if you wanted,
and maybe that was too much.
Maybe too much was asking for me instead,
so he could cut me in the throat.

On my 21st birthday,
you told me to break the clay pot,
and when I was done with breaking it,
you stepped on it.

Testamendo-de-divorciado.jpg

I cried and begged and said
I could start all over again,
and I was sorry,
and I wasn’t one to use clay pots,
and I didn’t really want to drink with yours,
and I loved and fantasized about plastic plates instead,
and my question was hypothetical,
but you didn’t want to hear it.

I got so vulnerable around you,
and I always wanted to tell you everything,
and maybe I shouldn’t have been like that, you know,
maybe I should have kept some things to myself.

Ten days of depression.
Ten weeks of uncontrollable tears.
In ten weeks, I gained so much weight.
In the next ten weeks, I lost so much,
so much weight,
so much happiness,
so much zeal,
so much reason to live,
so much you.

Before the spirits took me away,
I looked for you
and waited for you
and cried for you but
I didn’t see you.

Where were you?

It’s the tenth month, and you’re back,
not for me,
not for the pot,
but for the clay.

You’re going to pretend like you didn’t squish the clay?
Like it’s a sweet new day today?
Like you didn’t send me away,
and nothing happened yesterday?

The karmic tie is broken
and I’m done.
Stay in your lane
and I’ll stay in mine.

I wanted to squish you
the way you did me.
My goodness,
I was a sensitive thing.
It’s not worth it anymore,
those days have passed,
and I’m glad that I, at least,
got to kick you at last.

 

Cry Me a River

Cry me a river; 
just don’t let it touch my seat.
I know your tear tastes sour,
although you tell me it is sweet.

Cry me a river,
cry me a river,
I’ve cried a river over you.

Cry me a river,
or you could make it two.
I’d love to swim and play in it
and be free for once from you.

Cry me a river,
cry me a river,
I’ve cried a river over you.

Cry me a river, now;
you need not speak to me.
Sweet, dangerous psychopath,
must I be you to be?

Cry me a river,
cry me a river,
I’ve cried a river over you.

Cry me a river;
let’s drown our selves in it.
You beat me till I bled, you fool,
you crossed your heart you’d quit!

Cry me a river,
cry forever and ever,
I want to feel bigger
and better like you.


💜 “I beat you because I love you so much and when you hurt me or I think you’re about to, I find it hard to control myself” and other shits.
Don’t stay for the children or the anything. Run away (with your children). Throw the whole relationship away. 
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