Venus in “Deadtrograde”

A plate of pain keeps
the potential heartbreaker away.
Two glasses of my old tears daily
will help me not go astray.
I am strong and I need no one’s attention,
but I want to be desired,
and I want affection,
but I was hurt,
I don’t want a repetition,
but I want love,
and I can feel the tension.

I don’t cry.
I don’t cry anymore because
there’s a pool of my tears
in my heart,
and I like to swim in it,
or go down, down, down,
and drown,
when a potential One
comes too close
to my feelings’ flat.
If anyone is to decide when I drown,
it has to be me, myself and I.
Would you give another potential
pretentious,
manipulative
dingbat
a chance to decide when you die?

Six planets are in retrograde
in my natal chart,
and venus used to be one of them,
but she’s not anymore.
My venus is dead;
a man has stabbed my sickly venus to death.

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As Bright as Darkness

HELLYWOOD:
When your lights go off,
or when they don’t shine as brightly,
darkness is turned on in your heart,
and a new evil is birthed in your soul.

You do not like to not be
seen as often you used to,
so you turn more of your rays on.

As soon as another light becomes brighter,
and another surely will,
you turn even more rays on.
You’d do anything and everything
to not be overshadowed by another light.

You more light the others see,
the more of you they see,
and the less you they see,
and the less you, you see,
and the more of them you see
but the less them you see.

Everyone knows what you are,
but no one knows who you are.
You shine so bright, so exceedingly well,
but there’s deep darkness inside.

For everything you do not do,
and for everything you do,
for everything you do not become,
and for everything you become,
there are consequences.