Venus in “Deadtrograde”

A plate of pain keeps
the potential heartbreaker away.
Two glasses of my old tears daily
will help me not go astray.
I am strong and I need no one’s attention,
but I want to be desired,
and I want affection,
but I was hurt,
I don’t want a repetition,
but I want love,
and I can feel the tension.

I don’t cry.
I don’t cry anymore because
there’s a pool of my tears
in my heart,
and I like to swim in it,
or go down, down, down,
and drown,
when a potential One
comes too close
to my feelings’ flat.
If anyone is to decide when I drown,
it has to be me, myself and I.
Would you give another potential
pretentious,
manipulative
dingbat
a chance to decide when you die?

Six planets are in retrograde
in my natal chart,
and venus used to be one of them,
but she’s not anymore.
My venus is dead;
a man has stabbed my sickly venus to death.

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Addictions

Why are you looking to the
devil to set you free?
It only tightens your chains;
is that fact so hard to see?
The devil comes in white,
the devil dresses in pink,
the devil desses in gold,
the devil desses in green.
The devil dresses in several colours;
don’t admire when you ought to flee.

It numbs your pain, and in its absence, it puts you in pain…

She Suffers: The Woman Proposed

Yesterday, you braced yourself.
With all the courage that you had,
you told them how you really felt,
and what all your affection meant.

Today, they told you that they loved you;
they’ve shown you life and it’s brand new.
They’ve come to make your dark sky blue;
there’s nothing, for them, that you wouldn’t do.

Tomorrow, you’re going to have a fight;
the things they’ll say are going to hurt you.
If you threaten to leave if they don’t change,
they’ll react in a way that you’ll find strange.
The words they’ll say will be quite true,
“I didn’t come to you first,
I didn’t want you.”

Possessed by Possessiveness

I heard your voice within a second,
and unlearnt my lessons within two.
I immediately assumed that your
“I miss you” meant you truly loved me too.
Your demons came back three times stronger,
one possessing the other,
and then possessing you,
to take absolute control of me,
till you became the worst you could be.

Transform Your Pain for Healing

death_the_lovers_temperance_lg

When we die- when a strong change befalls us, it’s up to us [choice] to struggle to find balance again. When we choose light, we become a light ourselves.

Remove the cover;
let your pains escape.
Mold them into words and music;
anything you might be inspired to make.
Let their flow lead you to be river;
take as long as you need to take.
Be willing to swim, let go and heal;
be open to new changes in shape.
Don’t cover;
choose to recover
for your very own sake.

You’ll be surprised at how creative you can become when you are angry, in pain, when everything within you just hurts. The high level of joy that whatever you make/achieve will bring to you if you choose to heal through it, by not just ignoring the pain but by expressing it, is immense. Find relief, satisfaction and happiness in/through (not despite) your agony.

Death V: Death is a Caring Snob

jimoh-buraimoh-meeting-of-elders

Painted by Jimoh Buraimoh

Death is such a selective listener.
It heard you groan and cry in pain,
and it came over to take you away.
It chose to not hear my pleading,
my wails for it to let you stay,
as I asked God to grant you healing.

Eclipse

I don’t want to see the eclipse;
I want to see two.
I want to see you.

Analogy: The eye is like a total eclipse. The pupil is the eclipse and the iris and “white” parts of the eye- the iris and the sclera- are the rest of the sky. Two eyes- a lover’s eyes- give you two beautiful eclipses. 

Eyes

Be Careful with You

Womana

‘Cause I’m as sweet as a small pup,
you like to treat me like a dry mop.
Know that when I bite,
it takes time to make me stop.
Do you want to spite?
Try me, I’ll give a full cup.
If you kick this girl when she’s down on the ground
then you’re gonna be stressed when she gets up.

More to the Land than You Sea

The happy people are sad;
the sane people are running mad.
The rich people are poor;
we all need more than just more.
There is more to everything than you see;
there is more to every land than we can sea.

Who are Your Friends?

If they love to cry with you,
but find it hard to laugh with you,
but laugh at you,
they aren’t your friends.

If they love to laugh with you,
but find it hard to cry with you,
or wipe your tears,
they aren’t your friends.

If they love to cry and laugh with you,
but find it hard to be neutral with you,
to calm your fears,
and are only present when
there is a sad or happy extreme,
they are not really your friends.