A Damn Mess

I was licking my wounds
but you stopped me.
You wanted to do it
so I let you.
You licked and sucked till
my wounds became scars.
Then, you cut me again
at the exact same spots.

So, here I am, a damn mess,
studying our synastry chart
for the 50th time,
fiddling with tarot cards,
tiredlessly hoping you’d come back.
I want your tongue and yours alone,
and I know that even if you return,
you would lick me up
so you can cut me again.

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What is Love? III: A Cage

a_bird_in_a_cage_by_sebowebo-d5esu3r

“A Bird in a Cage” | Sebastian Gomez 

Dear Love,
why don’t you love me?
Why do you like to punish me?
You possess and drain my strength,
but you let the other go scot-free.
When I am in you
and when I am not,
when you are in me
and when you are not,
I am always lonely.

She Suffers II: “Where are You?”

Tom-Thomson-Woodland-Waterfall-RTT02

“Woodland Waterfall” by Tom Thomson

The man isn’t clingy;
“clingy” is too belittling,
it’s degrading,
too degrading.

He is possessive;
he knows what he wants
and he’ll get and keep it at all costs.
Being possessive is cute.

The woman is possessive?
I think not.
She is clingy,
maybe too clingy.
You can’t own a man;
you have to let him live.
A man is not built to be
with just one woman.

You see, unfortunately,
men can’t be hoes,
but women can.
Being clingy isn’t cute;
it will never be.

Sun-Child

Sun Child

You’re quite eccentric,
aren’t you, sun-child?
This minute, you’re wild,
moments later, you’re mild,
something changes about the previous way
in which you smiled,
as if you have a switch with which
you control your lights.
It used to make me cry,
now I’m somewhat beguiled.

No one can make you the sun
they want you to be,
there’s more to you
than anyone can see,
you’re true to yourself
and that’s awesome by me,
and even if you turn red or green
or the colour of the sea,
as long as you are happy
and as long as you are free,
I would still be proud of you,
do you hear, sun-child?

Love is a Surprise

Unplanned

Sometimes, you don’t fall in love;
you might be too cautious to.
Sometimes, love falls on you;
unexpectedly, like heavy rain.
It’s destabilizing;
it’s profound.
You can’t climb out of it,
you can’t jump down from it;
you’re free but
you’re stuck in it.
You shiver;
you cry.
There is no shelter;
you can’t make it stop.
💧
You don’t want it to.

I’m Not a Bloody Playtime Pool

Drown

Painted by Brian Kirhagis

You wanted to be let in,
into the flow of my emotions,
into the depths of my feelings.
Why do you want to leave now?
Oh!
You have your life to live now?

I asked if you could swim
and you said “yes”,
you’d do anything to get in.

Is it too cold for you now?
Is my water too dirty for you,
too contaminated for your soul?
Do your lifeguards want you out now?

Were you looking to find fishes in me,
to feed them and keep them for your use?
Are you disappointed that there are none?
Do you wish that I was more salty?
Have you found a different water?

Why don’t you talk to me?
I don’t want you out of me;
your presence satisfies me.
I am so used to you;
I don’t know what to do.

You can’t just make me trust you
and then mess up.
Cum, tears, sweat, blood, pee;
how do I separate all of you from me?

You see, this is the kind of shit that…
*whew!*
…this is the kind of stuff
that gets motherfuckers drowned.
I’m not a bloody playtime pool.

I’m a sea.

-Yemoja 

Death VII: Denial and Delusion

I don’t think Death takes all the lives that it has stolen
around with it;
He would have too much to carry.
I’ll look for where He keeps them
and return yours to you;
we’ve got so much more to do.
I’ll make sure you are not buried
till I hurry back with you.

Can’t anything at all be done to bring you back?

Wounded Healer III

Goddess of Forests

I’m shedding everyone’s tears
but I can’t shed my own.
I’ve got it all under control in public;
I’m a mess when I’m alone.
Pain has injected itself into me;
I can feel it bite through each bone.
I’m decaying on the inside,
but this body is not mine to disown.

My heart and soul are drowning,
and I can’t stretch my hands
to reach them through my throat.
They’ve absorbed too much;
they’re heavy,
but I can’t save them.
I can’t drain the tears and blood;
I can’t heal them.

So, I’ll shed my tears through my mouth.
I’ll cry with my hands and feet,
with my words,
and with my songs,
and with my dance,
till I feel my heartbeat.
I’ll shed my tears as sweat;
they can’t pass through my eyes just yet.

For Writers IV: It Star-ts with You

It all star-ts with you.

It all star-ts when you choose to shine,
when the thing that your heart desires
is what you choose to do.

It all star-ts,
even if the first cheer
that you hear
is a “boo!”.

It all star-ts;
that’s the most important step
that it requires.

Fruitless

Unlike almost everyone else,
I was never one to count
the seeds in my apple.
“If this seed doesn’t grow,
that one will grow”
was never really for me.
The first one I saw
was the one I chose;
I chose to count the apples in that seed,
to do whatever it would take to make it grow.

No, it didn’t grow,
because it couldn’t grow,
because it wasn’t even a seed;
I won’t pretend that I didn’t know.