Information is good;
information is bad.
To be informed is one thing,
to be wrongly informed is another.
Be mindful of what your brain consumes.
Information is good;
information is bad.
To be informed is one thing,
to be wrongly informed is another.
Be mindful of what your brain consumes.
Sometimes, all you have to do is nothing,
because if you do something,
everything you do will result
in what you should have done-
your actions will give you nothing.
You have to be patient enough to let things unfold on their own.
My mum bought lots of magic towels years ago. You would put them in water and watch them unfold/increase in size.
Many things are like magic towels. If you try to stretch them out or assist them in the way that they develop/turn out, you’ll “tear” (destroy) them, ruin the magic (and hurt yourself).
Get your bucket of water- do all that you think is right, sit, and be patient.
Even among three friends, a friend could turn the second friend’s back against the third friend, and the third friend’s against the second. It’s not impossible to report that someone has done something they haven’t done, or they mean something they don’t mean, by changing the narrative(s) to suit one’s interest.
Public and private interests have used controversy as a means of control many times in history- turn the light-skinned blacks against the dark-skinned blacks, turn the Caucasians against the Africans, by pushing a narrative that promotes one as the enemy and the other as the protagonist, especially in the media. Call it “control-versy”. What does it all result in? Xenophobia, discrimination, racism, hate, irritability, and fear.
That way, the people turn against one another, not the elites who really are in power, the 1% who have 99% of the wealth on earth (while many starve to death; isn’t it a shame?), who would take jobs to other countries (rather than create employment in both countries) so they could pay the barest minimum to their workers, who are more interested in gaining more wealth, more power and/or more fame, to suit their interests.
How much money is enough money? If your goal in life is to make $1 billion, if you can’t really think beyond the fact that life is futile, you will die at the end of it all, and the well-being of the people that are not in your position matter too, matter just as much, you would discover that the $1 billion would not give you as much satisfaction as you hoped after a while, so you’ll begin to seek means of making $2 billion, even if it means cheating others, destroying the lives and withdrawing the comfort of your fellow human beings, and directly/indirectly controlling others, while portraying a “good man” narrative.
Two “powerless” black and white members of the working class turn against one another, because one thinks the other is responsible for his unemployment, and the other for his oppression. While they do so, the person who is really responsible for their problem, who has pushed the narrative that the white is superior and he ought to fight for “his place” over the black, or that the black should not be hired because he is not trustworthy (and so the black is forced to do illegal things for survival) is sipping a well-made smoothie in Sun Valley or Cancun, living his best life.
Control-versies are created and promoted everywhere, even in entertainment, to keep the people busy, to get people riled up against one another, while ignoring the real issues, the real factors, and the real actors. It’s a crying shame.
“How do I look?”
Before I ask you that question, my first question to you would be “how do you look?”
If I don’t know how you see things, how you see me, how you think, why you choose to think the way you think, your opinions would not matter so much to me. Your opinions on how I look would be just that, your opinions, not what really is, and I would not react to it like it is the all-in-all truth about me.
If you think a well made up face makes a woman attractive, or very long hair, or an hour-glass shape, and I don’t have any of those, I’m never going to be up to standard to you.
This should apply to every other sphere of your life too. If you are watching the news, for instance, be very conscious of the fact that Fox News would narrate occurrences or explain issues differently from MSNBC. They are not owned by members of the public, and there are private interests who want you to see things in certain ways that benefit them.
Before you take someone’s opinion on how you look, be sure that they can see, that they can really see you, and that they can see beyond whatever is before them.
Listen to how they think you look, but be conscious of how they look, and how they see.
Sex Work: Rethinking the Job, Respecting the Workers by Colette Parent et. al. and Playing the Whore: The Work of Sex Work by Melissa Gira Grant are a few of my favourite books right now. Why? Well, you’re about to know.
To begin with, they make you question everything you think you know about prostitution. Is it the sex itself that is disgusting, ’cause whether you are sucking dick (I beg your pardon) for money or not, you are still sucking dick? Perhaps, it is the fact that money is often involved, but if you have sex with your boyfriend or girlfriend and they offer you money afterwards or buy you items that you request or do not request for, have you suddenly become a prostitute? Perhaps, it is the sleeping with many men/women aspect that is absolutely distasteful, but many people have sex with many men and/or women for free. As a matter of fact, they have more sex than sex workers themselves. So, what exactly about the job is out of the ordinary? Why then is sex work/prostitution criminalized in many places?
Playing the Whore briefly mentions how marriage boosts the sex trade, funnily enough. Many men and women get married and feel like they’re missing out on certain things, they feel terribly constrained by societal norms and standards, so they patronize sex workers. Many of them don’t get mistresses because they often anticipate some sort of commitment, and they (the engaged or married men and women) already have partners that they are committed to. A sex worker, on the other hand, would most likely not need any form of structured commitment, or expect their client to leave their wife or husband for them. You get the idea.
It is important to note that sex workers are not just prostitutes- pornography actors/models, strippers, escorts, massage-parlour girls, cam girls, and so on, are all sex workers, providing different kinds of sexual services. So, if you, as a married person, have ever watched a pornographic CD or visited any of the free/premium pornographic websites, perhaps, with your spouse, the aforementioned would include you. Haha!
The fact that people do not pay for their pornography contributes to the precariousness of the actor/model’s work. They get paid once for a scene and never again, they do not own the license to the video that is made, and for many years (or forever), the sex worker continues to please everyone for free, while getting terribly shamed/attacked for it.
Why would a person want to do sex work? Well, why would anyone want to work at all? People choose to work for money, for fame, for connections, for a sense of freedom and independence, and for pleasure. The same reasons apply to sex workers. A person does not need to be a sex worker to be involved in the sex trade- directors, light men, location managers, script writers, make-up artists, and so on, can be involved in the sex trade without performing sexual services.
Sex work is highly precarious, just like many other jobs. In pornography, for instance, if a worker is not constantly trying other sex-trade spheres, and doing new things, they could very quickly be forgotten. In stripping, there would always be someone with a bigger butt, or someone who can dance better. There’s competition and promotion all of the stuff you find in other work spheres in the sex industry.
The authors of the two books expose you to how the police dehumanize women, some men, members of the LGBTQ community, who are involved in sex work. They are abused more by the police than their clients in many parts of the world, even in the United States, and there are oral and written surveys and whatnot in the books to prove it. The police doesn’t come to the sex workers’ aid at all or quickly when they need help because they blame them for choosing to have sex for money in the first place. It is worse for transgender men and women; many members of the police force intentionally pick on them or try to break them for fun. It’s even worse in theoretically non-democratic countries. As the saying goes, “power destroys, absolute power destroys absolutely”.
Although straight men are involved in sex work too, young/old men who work as escorts for sugar mummies and such, or work as pornography actors/models, they are almost never viewed in the same light as women.
The authors don’t necessarily praise sex work itself or deem it a hundred percent wonderful because of the many risks that are involved- being abused by pimps and clients, the fact that a condom can slip off and the worker could get a disease and all that, exploitation, especially with non-independent sex workers, and so on- but they implore you to call off your old, tired ethics. Religion often forces people to see many things and many people condescendingly, especially the major world religions, but call it off, as far as consensual sex work is concerned.
According to the United Nations Office on Drugs and Crime, “trafficking in persons is defined as “the recruitment, transportation, transfer, harbouring or receipt of persons, by means of the threat or use of force or other forms of coercion, of abduction, of fraud, of deception, of the abuse of power or of a position of vulnerability or of the giving or receiving of payments or benefits to achieve the consent of a person having control over another person, for the purpose of exploitation.” A person can be trafficked in their home country or across borders- farmers, live-in caregivers, and labourers are trafficked on a daily basis, not just prostitutes, which is terrible.
The face of the trafficked sex worker is often the face of the people who have willingly chosen to provide sexual services to other people for a living, especially in popular discourse and in the media, and it is quite unfair. If you must feel bad for anyone, feel bad for the factory workers who kill sentient animals inhumanly for a living, or for the McDonald’s worker who stands all day, working from 9 am-5 pm everyday for survival, basically, or for the person who moves stuff around all night (food, flowers, whatever needs to be moved in the respective company) in a cold room, shivering and struggling not to fall asleep. If you must save anyone from their work, save those workers. Nobody wants to do those jobs, and they are not necessarily more “respectable” than sex work in essence, but they do them for survival.
No? Are you convinced that there are people who really want to stand and act (like they really, ever so really care about the customers) at McDonald’s or Tim Hortons or one of the call-centers all day for survival? If you are, that a person has chosen to do sex work should not surprise or upset you either, should it?
The authors discuss the fact that sex work is not all about intercourse. It may involve acting and fulfilling fantasies. Many of the married men and women who patronize the industry can get all the intercourse they want from their spouses or boy/girlfriends if they have them; it’s not all about that.
They compare sex work to any other kind of job that requires the provision of a service; they mention that sex work is the world’s oldest profession. Sex workers may not always be victims, and they make us realize that.
Apparently, sex work is saving marriages; I didn’t even know that before I read the books. Basically, you don’t need to divorce your wife/husband, or be with someone else physically to be with someone else, whether through porn and cam sites or whatnot. You masturbate to another woman or man, for free sometimes, like I mentioned earlier, many times, through the mainstream sites, and you’re good. You love your wife/husband again, and you’re satisfied. You don’t think you’ve cheated on her/him, and you don’t feel as bad. Or, if your wife would not do anal or try something you read about or saw with you, whether or not it involves intercourse, you call upon your favourite strumpet to do them with you, and you go home, kiss your wife/husband, and enjoy your marriage again. Haha!
We love sex work when it’s on our screens. We love Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman and all the stereotypes, especially when the prostitute (or any other sex worker) is portrayed as a strong, independent person in Hollywood movies. As soon as someone proudly describes herself as a prostitute or sex worker or stripper, we go “woah”. The woman of our dreams and fantasies now suddenly becomes a terrible, demonic or disgusting woman. At that moment, we suddenly detest prostitution and sex work.
The word “prostitute” itself is still considered very terrible, and many would sometimes use it as an insult to women who are not involved in sex work. Ashewo, which means prostitute, is used as an insult to women very often by misogynistic men in Nigeria, for instance.
If we don’t go “woah” with disgust, we begin to feel sorry for them- it wasn’t their choice, they were probably forced to join the trade, maybe they had a bad childhood, maybe they were abused. We really don’t care if they had a bad childhood whenever it’s time to jerk off. For some reason, we care so much about it when it’s time to discuss prostitution in public spaces; some people who have sex begin to look down on other people who have sex. Haha! It makes no sense.
Again, the authors don’t praise or glamourize sex work, it has its own challenges, just like any job- customers/clients may insult you, bosses may look down on you, you could slip and fall to death, or have your fingers sliced off by a machine at the flower factory where you work, someone might report you or leave you a bad review, to mention a few.
However, they did not fail to mention that making sex work illegal has contributed to the harm that sex workers suffer around the world. Sex work, mainly prostitution, is criminalized in many places, and just like any illegal job, the security of a person who is involved is often badly affected.
Sex workers are often harassed by the police for having condoms, and for that reason, many do not move around with condoms while soliciting for clients, so they won’t be charged for an offence. The clients may not have condoms, and so the sex worker is left with no choice but to have raw sex with them, many times, to their own detriment, and that of their clients, as far as the spread of sexually-transmitted diseases is concerned. The client may infect the sex worker. If the client or worker then becomes ill, the state spends money on them- money that would have been diverted to other things, if that situation was prevented, if the police had treated the sex worker with enough dignity and respect to let them have all the items they need for their work.
Those who have condoms hide them in their wigs and private parts to avoid being arrested; that’s inhumane.
There are grey areas in morality and societal standards, and it’s quite interesting. It’s okay to be in a pant and bra in a Victoria Secret’s collection [for money] but it’s not okay to wear just those on your Facebook profile. The society is highly hypocritical when it comes to the body and what is to be done with it.
I can’t possibly cover everything that was discussed in the books, so I’ll stop here. Some of the points that I have addressed are additions to the ones mentioned in the book. I barely covered the books; I could go on and on. A must-read for every feminist (especially second-wave feminists who tend to condemn sex work more than the third-wave feminists) or person who is interested in the facts regarding sex work, is what those books are. I read both books simultaneously.
THIS IS NOT A PAID REVIEW.
“A psychological word puzzle, which changes meaning depending on where you choose to put the spaces. People think your first understanding of it shows your true view or belief about God”, which is obviously, not necessarily true.
1. God is nowhere
2. God is now here
“I have been gravely disappointed with the white moderate. The Negro’s great stumbling block in his stride toward freedom is not the Ku Klux Klanner, but the white moderate, who constantly advises the Negro to wait for a ‘more convenient season’.
Shallow understanding from people of good will is more frustrating than absolute misunderstanding from people of ill will.”
-“Letter from a Birmingham Jail”, Martin Luther King Jr., 1963.
The elites know what they are doing with the African-Americans, and you have to think beyond man-made laws and policies to understand. A President sits in his office, snorts coke and smokes pot, and it’s totally fine, but not for everyone.
It has been really hard for Michael, an African-American, to get a job because he is often profiled as unsuitable for certain positions, not just because of the colour of his skin and the way he speaks, but because he’s just not disciplined and ambitious enough to push against and through societal stereotypes. His priorities in life are his Jays, his chains, his grillz, and some cash, so he results to selling marijuana and some drugs.
Why? Well, he grew up in a dysfunctional home. He has had very little or no contact with his father because his father is in jail, and his mother’s focus is mainly on survival than on Michael’s psychologically well-being. Michael did not realize as a child that his purpose in life did not revolve around making mixed tapes, playing football, buying sparkling trash and hitting the club.
Michael has been arrested, and he’s on his way to jail too. He already has a son. His girlfriend is now a single mother, and his son, in a few years, wouldn’t even know how to describe his father.
Michael will die in jail. Micheal’s son, Chris, will not learn the average family values, like discipline and the need for ambition. There most likely will not be a proper dad or dad-figure for Chris to look up to.
The rich get richer because they make themselves and their descendants rich. They teach them the importance of maintaining dominance, of saving. They give their sons small loans of a million dollars or positions at Goldman Sachs after sending them to the best schools. The poor will get poorer; Chris’ mother will be too focused on survival than on training Chris. One thing will lead to another; Chris will replace his father in one of the correctional institutions. The cycle will continue.
“C’est la vie”, but it shouldn’t be. This is just one scenario. Robbery, murder, abuse/molestation, and all sorts of vices often stem from the disruption of Black families. When you disrupt the family, voila!
Dysfunctional families are so functional for the very few who have it all mapped out. That is just one of the means to the desired end. Even when he does nothing wrong and he simply minds his business, the Black man could still be killed. The Few in charge are ruthless. By any means necessary, they cling to power and control, and they’ll make sure that it never slips out of their hands. Slavery was once legal. That something is legal or illegal doesn’t mean it is so for the well-being of everyone involved.
There is more to any society than you can see on your televisions and radios. Enough said.
Religion makes the inability to think/stupidity worse. It’s one thing to want to be saved (from something) by God; It’s another thing to want to save God (from something). A person who (constantly) feels the need to do the latter is stupid.
“How dare you call my God by His first name or wonder if He has big feet? I would slap/kill you right now and He’d be happy because it’d be for His honour.”
The moment a person begins to think like that- the aforementioned- regardless of their God’s instructions against slapping/killing someone or something else, that person becomes a full-blown fool. That person becomes a God over God, God’s God, knowing what is best for Him and what is not, and what should offend Him/what should not, instead of the other way round, as intended. That person has stopped needing God; perhaps, they still do, but they need God much less than they feel God needs them.
“God needs me more than I need Him. I need to defend God; He’s so vulnerable and I need to defend Him and protect Him from being hurt. He doesn’t know how to ‘God’. Maybe He does, but He can’t God on His own. He wants me to help him ‘God’; His words say it.”
The person becomes a fanatic, a crazy being who is now even crazier and happier becomes he feels that He is immune to any judgement of his acts or punishment for his wrongs because He has God [the One who owns anything and everything], and rewards are being/should be prepared for Him instead [in Heaven/the final resting place].
He ‘God’s well, and God is proud. At least, He should be. He should be very proud because he [man] has done the great things that He commanded. Yes. He is not a holy sociopath; he is God’s knight in shining armour.
What is that? The truth is, feminism is so broad- there are a thousand kind of feminists- that two feminists may not necessarily fully agree on one thing.
When you come up with this kind of mess that bluntly says “dissociation from men”, you’re not really addressing the equality aspect of the cause. You’re not saying “I want to be equal to you and have the same opportunities that you have, dear men, because I’m a separate being too”.
Instead, you’re saying “I don’t want to have anything to do with you”. Women and men are separate entities but neither of the two sexes can survive or keep the earth alive without the other; that’s besides the point. The word “woman” isn’t equivalent to “half-man”; that is basically what the cause originally sought to emphasize.
Whether you call women “womyn” or “mynwo” or “wurjdhdggd” isn’t the point. We want to be separate entities that co-exist with men in a society that respects everyone equally, irrespective of their sex.
“Women” is one word. A “woman” is a “womb-man”. A separate entity; the other kind of man, not a subordinate. When you come up with this kind of sentimental mess, “womyn”, you’re messing everything up. You’re drifting far away from the cause. You’re not saying what you want.
Are “womyn” a better kind of women now or something?
This is what will happen if you do so, Nigerians- if you don’t exercise your democratic voting rights and elect one of the candidates in 2019:
Someone else or a group of elites will seize the power anyway. Someone has to run things and the military will very quickly take over. They would not need to assassinate anyone or seize power from any democratic leader; it’d be the easiest military takeover yet. It would not even be a coup d’état since they won’t be seizing power from any functioning government, or it will, if the state governors’ positions get dissolved/overthrown.
If the military doesn’t, if they decide to grab their popcorn and sippy cup and watch the events go by, it’s going to be a bloody mess, emphasis on the “bloody”.
An Ibibio man is now the new unelected president?
Over my dead body! Who put him there?
Let a Yoruba man be the new president.
You lie! A Hausa man or an Igbo woman would be more efficient.
Yen yen yen blah blah blah.
“People” will graduate from throwing chairs to knives; it’d be a distasteful sight.
Nigeria is a beautiful, sexy woman. If she decides not to choose who to sleep with, and she lies at the middle of the road for all to see, different riffraff would exert force and rape her. Even the US would be there in no time to suck on her oily breasts for free or next to nothing. The US likes rich, “presidentless” countries with large, oily breasts. It’d be a terrible, painful fuck fest, or gang bang, and no, it would not be fun. It sure as hell would not be fun.
So, assess all manifestos properly, do your own research on who the candidates really are, and prepare to vote.