On Spirituality: ‘Ishan Lo Pa Bruce Lee’

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“Janine at 39, Mother of Twins” is a 2000 oil on canvas by Margaret Garcia.

My people can be quite “funny”.

Whenever you start to get extra passionate about something, Nigerians (that belong to a certain category) will tell you “gbe ishan sile”, “ishan lo pa Bruce Lee”, agidi lo pa Tupac”, which translates to “relax your muscles/nerves”, “muscles [flexing] killed Bruce Lee, stubbornness killed Tupac”. It’s not so amusing when you translate it to English, is it? #LostInTranslation

We all know that the aforementioned statements are incorrect. Bruce Lee didn’t die while flexing his muscles, and although Tupac was stubborn (sometimes, unnecessarily so), his stubbornness didn’t kill him per se; he was shot. Somehow, my people have connected who these people were to the causes of their deaths. I find these statements rude, by the way, extremely rude, but I’ll confess that I chuckle when I hear them. 

Lately, I have been very upset, almost angry, that my spiritual/psychic growth has been rather slow. I assist people intuitively through tarot/oracle card readings and all, but, I really am not where I want to be. I want to see things more vividly and feel things more distinctly, but, I’ve not been able to experience the strong, crystal-clear connections that I seek. 

I wasn’t here 2-6 years ago. Haha! Nope! I was struggling, dying, to put it lightly, and I didn’t know too much about my life path and purpose. I was depressed, and my weight gain was far too rapid, in my opinion, within those years. What I was forgetting, until it was brought to my attention via a reading that I did for myself (and a video that I found), was the importance of patience and taking things easy. I discovered that I was a nun or a priestess in my past life, a bit of a hermit/recluse, and if I really was a priestess (since it has been confirmed over and over again), my soul probably misses being able to connect more, spiritually. I terribly miss the heightened levels of intuition and the spiritual gifts that I probably used to have, and so I want them back. It must be the reason I was getting so upset about having to start from scratch, so to speak.

My life path number is 7, and seeking for more spiritual knowledge and connection is a part of who I am, but I mustn’t be so obsessed about it that I forget the importance of patience and living in the present. In that video, this one, Amanda was using the analogy of wanting a relationship so bad, so intensely, that you scare the other person off and end up ruining everything. Ouch! 

So these spiritual gifts and abilities are coming, more ideas and inspiration too, and there really is no need to rush it or get it all in a day. Things don’t work that way, and it’s not that I didn’t know that; I really don’t know what I was thinking.

To other lightworkers like me, teachers and healers, who desire a stronger connection to the spirit realm so deeply, it’s a process. There is no need to rush. As long as we stay connected and hopeful, and do whatever we can with what we already have, Spirit and our other spirit guides will take care of the rest, and make us stronger.

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What Have Love Do For Me?

love kee you there

As I dey look you for eye,
your pity just dey do me for mind,
but the wahala wey you dey look for,
na the wahala wey you go find.

You dey shine eye well well but
e be like say you no dey see.
My body and blood don hot well well;
what have this love even do for me?

I dey always do plenty things for man;
I dey cook all kind sweet sweet food.
Of all the man wey I don love;
las las no one even do me good.

The palava wey love give me too much;
I no just get strength for pain again.
Abeg waka away comot from my front;
If I love you now, wetin I go gain?

Between Worlds

SLEEP BY RENAT RAMAZANOV

‘Sleep’ by Renat Ramazanov

Do you know what it means,
do you know how it feels,
to be one of the living
at a time when you are dead?

To not be of that world,
the one you left behind,
or be fully in that one,
the one that is ahead.

You are able to move
but you can barely walk.
You are able to say words
but you can barely talk.
You are very sensitive
but you can barely sense.
You remember how to remember
but you can barely think.

You are able to hear
but you very barely know.
It’s hard for you to understand,
and so painfully so.
You are able to look
but you can barely see.
You’re hanging in midair;
you don’t have any wings.

To not be able to rewind
and start all over again,
or be able to move on,
and fly far far away.

Do you know what it means
when everything means nothing?
Do you know how it feels
when you cannot feel?

The Love Rove

Spirit Painting- Elaine Clayton

Spirit Painting – Elaine Clayton

Love is death.
To fall in love truly is to die,
to bury you in yourself,
your arms,
your doubts,
your fears,
past hurts that brought tears.

To fall in love truly is to become a spirit,
to levitate,
to float and glide through the day,
and even with your eyes wide open,
to dream.
It’s an experience that gives your body
control of itself;
it smiles when you don’t ask it to,
and flies when you don’t know how to.

Love is birth.
To fall in love truly is to be reincarnated
while you keep the same skin.
It is to be reborn,
to become a foetus before you sleep,
hugging and kissing the air
when they are not near,
speaking to them
even when they can’t hear.
It is to become someone else,
someone new,
seeing things that are not there,
feeling things that make you bare.

To fall in love truly is to want to grow,
to want to know,
trusting and wondering like a child.
It is to be happy,
to be unafraid,
to be very aware and ill,
to be at peace.

For Michael.

Thing 1 & Thing 2

Osun (Giseli Magalhães)

Thing 1 was not thirsty,
but I offered him a drink.
He drank till my cup was empty,
and threw me in me to sink.

I struggled back to shore,
you can bet that I was sore,
but Thing 2 grabbed my finger,
and told me his heart was pure.

The river of love is full again,
the river of love is me,
but Thing 2 is still famished,
’cause my cup was smashed at sea.

So tell me, ìyá mi ‘Kojú,
help me make my strength from you. 
How do I tell me that Thing 1
is all but nothing like Thing 2?

Chiron-ke

Yusuf Grillo

I want love,
I ask for love,
but when Mother Earth offers it to me,
I shake my head from side to side.

Think of me as a child;
think of me as a pregnant woman.

I am in pain;
I am pregnant.
I bear and carry my hurt
like an unborn child
in my heart’s womb.

No one can deliver this child;
no one except me.
No one but me
can deliver my self,
can deliver me from my self,
but I don’t know how to,

or is it that I don’t want to?

I can’t.  

I’m a pregnant midwife
who delivers people’s pain-children
but walks around with her own
still-born still in her.

No one can deliver this child;
no one except me.
No one but me
can deliver my self,
deliver me from my self,
but I don’t know how to,

or is it that I don’t want to?

Can I?

Think of me as a child;
think of me as a pregnant woman.
I’d prefer it if you do

not think of me at all. 

Hello, Ma!

Family

“Hello, ma.”
“We think of you as a foolish girl.”
“Helloo, ma.”
“Plus, we do not like you very well.”
“Hi, ma.”
“Hello, ma!”
But if we pretend, you’ll never tell.
“Hello, ma.”
Listen to the silent ways we yell.
“Helloo, ma.”
“Have a seat in this fake-love cell.”
“Hi, ma.”
“Hello, ma!”
“And welcome, to Hell.”

My Only Regret

a_bird_in_a_cage_by_sebowebo-d5esu3r

The only regret that I have
is having regrets-
regretting things that I had
not even attempted yet,
hating myself for making mistakes,
for not being able to change
the things that I couldn’t,
thinking that things end because
they should never have been,
killing myself for wanting to live.

En dehors de ce regret,
je ne regrette rien.

Venus in “Deadtrograde”

A plate of pain keeps
the potential heartbreaker away.
Two glasses of my old tears daily
will help me not go astray.
I am strong and I need no one’s attention,
but I want to be desired,
and I want affection,
but I was hurt,
I don’t want a repetition,
but I want love,
and I can feel the tension.

I don’t cry.
I don’t cry anymore because
there’s a pool of my tears
in my heart,
and I like to swim in it,
or go down, down, down,
and drown,
when a potential One
comes too close
to my feelings’ flat.
If anyone is to decide when I drown,
it has to be me, myself and I.
Would you give another potential
pretentious,
manipulative
dingbat
a chance to decide when you die?

Six planets are in retrograde
in my natal chart,
and venus used to be one of them,
but she’s not anymore.
My venus is dead;
a man has stabbed my sickly venus to death.

You’re My Love

If love had a taste,
it would taste like you.
If love had a smell,
it would smell like you.
If love could smile,
it would, like you.
If love could laugh,
it would, like you.
If love could cry,
it would, like you.
The shape of your eyes
is the shape of love.
I love you because
you are Love;
my heart chose you.